She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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