we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
is this the sara with the beer cane?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
