she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
