Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
