I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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