last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
