I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
