I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
