i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
