Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
my liver is dry heaving
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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