So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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