but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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