I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
