No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Randomize
