I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
