is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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