some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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