Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize
