? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
As shirtless as possible
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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