plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
