Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
