After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
