Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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