Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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