Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
