she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
