The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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