SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
