Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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