Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
