Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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