I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
