I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
