She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
