are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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