So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She bit a glass in half.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
