I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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