The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
