forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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