god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
