So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
