he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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