okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
