he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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