I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This is the high leading the old right now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
