At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
love makes seman taste better
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
