look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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