if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
