fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
