I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
