so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
